It is vital to have standards since it is used as a basis for judgment - what's good or right and what's bad or wrong. ’Standard’ is a word that has a positive meaning and could be associated with other words such as ‘rule’, ‘principle’, and ‘ideal’. But when it comes to dating and having a partnership, could your standards get in the way? Are your dating standards too much?
Either subconsciously or consciously, everyone has ideal qualities for the individuals who we wish to meet. Standards are used as the basis of judgment. If we tweak the definition a bit and make it into a requirement set for the individuals that we would like to meet, this is now what we know as a dating standard. Listed below are several examples that clearly depict these kinds of standards:
1. Go out with an individual who is financially dependable.
2. I would only date somebody who is not selfish.
3. I will only date somebody who has a compatible personality with mine.
4. Just going out with somebody if she/he is mature emotionally.
We would only focus on these 4 because this checklist could go on and on.
Although the 4 standards stated earlier are not too high, they could be entirely different when you interpret them this way:
1. Just dating someone if she/he earns a minimum of 6 figures.
2. Only dating somebody if she/he thinks I am the most significant individual on the planet.
3. Go out with an individual if we have compatible personalities according to my checklist.
4. Just going out with someone if he/she is mature emotionally and understands me completely.
We realize that these seem ridiculous, but most of the time, we are completely not aware that we interpret our dating standards this way, allowing them to become unrealistic dating standards.
The solution is not to make your dating standards too high. Be truthful with yourself if you’ve found your dating standards to be too high or to be false. When you do that then you won’t have unreasonable dating standards. This will really improve your chances of getting a better viewpoint on things and of finding a partner that will also do the same for you.
No matter what standards you may have, just take into account that they have to be reasonable. It is also essential to bear in mind that your dating standards should measure up to you so prior to making an analysis of yourself, be fair and honest. Having standards is not bad, certainly not. Just keep in mind not to make them too much…nor too low for that matter.